No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
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Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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