He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
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Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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