His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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