mondays should just be called national damage control day
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize