He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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