Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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