Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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