coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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