he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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