Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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