She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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