Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
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I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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