Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I smell stomach acid.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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