is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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