I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize