I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
