but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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