Nicole vs. Life
one two three fourrrrnication!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
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Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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