I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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