the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize