Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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