Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize