omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize