just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
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He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm sobbing to NWA
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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