Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize