i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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