dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize