Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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