Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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