Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
is wine microwaveable?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
try to milk me bitch
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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