I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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