I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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