My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
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