I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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