Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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