I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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