she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize