i permit you to call me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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