No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize