I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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