dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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