he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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