who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
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I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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