I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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