I wannas sexs uuuuu
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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