she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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