More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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