Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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