I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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