go do what you do best...puke behind churches
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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