WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
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In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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